Hot Girls In Star Trek Uniforms
The crew of the Starship Enterprise (and Voyager, and Deep Space Nine, and whatever other ships we've forgotten about) boasted some hotties, and here are ladies from canon and cosplay who rock the Federation uniform in style.
Desert Phaser
Blue uniform was science officer and ship's doctor, right? I'm hoping this classic Tricorder-toting babe is more along the lines of a McCoy and less a Spock. I've dated enough emotionless girls on the Internet, I don't need any more of them. I have to say, the old-school uniform is probably the most flattering of the lot in a pin-up context.
Latex model Bianca Beauchamp is well known for her willingness to dive deep into nerd subculture to give dudes like us their jollies, so of course she's done photo sets in a Trek uniform. A very stretchy, non-regulation uniform, sure, but a uniform nonetheless. I'd bet she was one of those redshirts who Kirk never sent on an away mission.
Vulcan In The Mirror
Vulcans have MySpace pages too? Who knew? It's nice to see that even in the distant future when all races live in harmony (except Klingons) that the mirror self-portrait is still in vogue. Doesn't hurt that the girl's a total cutie as well.
I have to say that I kind of miss the olden times, when an alien was just a person with funny-colored pancake makeup. The blue-skinned Andorians were a spacefaring race first seen in "Journey To Babel" and have shown up in a number of the spinoff series. They're considered vital members of the Federation. If you're the kinky sort, Andorian marriages are typically four-person affairs, so get ready to get wild.
If James Tiberius Kirk was here looking at this picture, he'd probably make a gently sexist joke. That's why he's awesome. We'll just say that we were hoping that kitchen decor might improve a little bit in the next few centuries. I mean, even Neelix at least had some chrome and computers in his mess hall. Maybe she's just in the holodeck living out some dude's fantasy.
Retro Away Team
Gotta love the retro 50s look in this pinup shot. I'm sure that by the time we catch up to Star Trek there's still going to be rockabillies and girls who want to be Bettie Page. How could there not be? I'm not sure if fishnets are regulation Federation gear though.
This fine hottie was a booth babe at a Japanese trade show, where she was promoting the complete rerelease of every Trek show on DVD. Cogitate on that for a minute. Good news has never come with a tricorder before.
Casey McKinnon
Actress and webcaster Casey McKinnon lets her nerd flag fly high - she was photographed rocking the old-school red dress and phaser for a photo essay called the Fangirl Project, which documents ladies around the world as they indulge their dorky passions. She's the host of Galacticast, one of the funniest sci-fi parodies out there.
Action Pose
This is a pretty sweet camera angle - it really communicates the idea that this lady is down on a hostile alien planet (possibly Gorn-infested) and is going to defend herself by any means necessary. Too bad she's just a redshirt.
Okay, so these Federation-themed corsets might not be the best choice of gear for beaming down to a potentially hostile alien planet and/or meeting Abraham Lincoln, but if you're a nerdy girl who wants to get her ribs squeezed in, they're pretty awesome. Or if you're a dude like us who likes to look at nerdy girls getting their ribs squeezed in.
Molly Quinn is probably best known for playing Castle's teenage daughter on the show of the same name, but it's nice to see that this cute little redhead has some respect for the glory days of Trek. Rocking the classic red Uhura dress, let's just hope she was angling for a shot in the next movie.
This lovely lassie is ready to go. I always liked the fact that the phasers were normally set to "stun" but putting them on "kill" was a big deal. Like do you think cops would walk around with their pistols set to "stun" if they could? Somehow I doubt it.
It's fair to say that Jeri Ryan's Seven of Nine was the best thing about Voyager - or at least the best thing to look at. The buxom Borg carried herself in a modified silver Starfleet uniform that has inspired plenty of cosplayers, including this lovely Trekkie.
Green-skinned Orion slave girl? Check. Classic Uhura uniform crewmember? Check. Catwoman? What the holy hell is Catwoman doing there? Oh, right, it's Comic-Con. Two out of three ain't bad.
Excuse me, miss, I think you might want to go back to whatever molecular clothes-making machine you have aboard your spacecraft and punch in a new uniform. This one's a little short and we can see your unmentionables. Oh, Riker told you to make it that way? Understood.
Nerdy Ensign
It's kind of amazing that it's taken us this long to spotlight a cute Trekkie with glasses. I guess it's true that we never saw anybody with vision problems on the show except for Geordi and he was kind of a special case.
"My 'live long and prosper' is up here, Captain." There's nothing logical about those boomin' hoons, and I for one welcome our new Vulcan overlords, especially when they go into Pon Farr.
The green-skinned Orion slave girls have become a powerful part of the Star Trek erotic lexicon ever since "The Menagerie," where their seductive dancing put Kirk in a state of ferocious carnal lust. As we saw in the 2009 movie, they're a valued part of the Federation and even fielded a Starfleet cadet, so it's not impossible to see them wearing the uniform.
Let's keep rolling on the green-skinned tip with another sultry Orion slavegirl slash Federation crewmember, this one spotted in the wild at Comic-Con. That's probably the best place to spot Trek hotties in the wild.
Tribble Toting
If there's one iconic creature that perfectly captures the ridiculousness of the original Star Trek series, it's the Tribble - that furry little space creature that breeds like crazy and threatened to overwhelm the ship. So it's no surprise that ingenius cosplayers have taken to toting them around.
Away Mission
Yes, I know, you're supposed to be scouting this desolate planet for dilithium crystals or some wacky thing like that, but why don't we take a second and snap some photos? Nobody will ever know.
There's something about the blue-skinned Andorians that seems to captivate cosplayers - I don't know what it is, but getting a pretty girl to sit through this much makeup is quite an accomplishment.
It's no diss, but most cosplayers just don't have the... physical attributes necessary to do a good Seven of Nine, at least not up to Jeri Ryan standards. Thankfully, there are exceptions to this rule, as this buxom Borg proves.
Redshirt Cleavage
Let's be frank: if this babe was in my pool of disposable redshirt crewmembers, I wouldn't be sending her on any away missions. Or going on any away missions, to be honest. Just book the Holodeck for an unspecified period of time.
And let's close with a picture that has it all. Orion slavegirls, Tribbles, honkin' hooters, ladies getting comfortably close to each other, Comic-Con - I can't think of a single thing I could add to this photograph to make it any better.