Voice Of Post

Frith Almighty, it's been a good six months since we've seen any new Venture Bros. but the good folks at Adult Swim are finally ready to ladle out a fresh helping!

The second Venture Bros. inter-season special in their history, this Summer special "From the Ladle to the Grave: The Story of Shallow Gravy" will outline the truly fictional story behind Hank, Dermott and H.E.L.P.E.R.'s legendary two-man-one-robot band Shallow Gravy, last seen rocking the titular madness of "Operation P.R.O.M!"

From the official press release:

But that's not all!  You can also check out our five-part interview with creators Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick covering everything from today's movies and TV, to who and what we might expect when the Venture Bros. returns for their ten-episode fifth season! 

You are a bigoted, chauvinist pig!.. oh wait, this ad is from 1950

Disclaimer: Please note that the views and opinions expressed in these vintage advertisements do not represent those of Dark Roasted Blend, our editors and writers. We have nothing to do with it. We can only stare at it in utter stupefaction.



The ad above is "tasteless", indeed... Maybe people were coming out of depression and they needed to look healthier.

Board the money... or a phone. The choice is yours.

Go Gay! and never look back (just don't call your company something like GayStyle, and put it on your business cards):

Some of these ads you may have seen before. Do we even have to say, don't try this at home? Do we even have to?

Bad wife. Bad:

Sexism galore:

Some self-defense is in order, then -

The Wrinkle is dead. Somebody else might end up dead soon, too:

This is not Viagra. This is better:

Jolt yourself back into health! -

Can not explode. And yet, with these creatures dancing on top of it, what if... it could? -

"So, what do you do when you come home from work?" - "I expand my lungs. It's lot of fun and satisfaction!" -

Doctors are out to lunch:

This must be fake:

A couple of weirdly similar racist ads:

Look at my ads! No - look at my legs!

The secret to having great ideas:

The kids on the left don't stand a chance:

Beer helps nursing babies? -

Well, if not beer, then -

Shoot'em up! -

We had a few "Mystery Vintage Gadgets" articles - see here, for example.

Would you buy Coca-Cola more, if you it be sold to you from this vehicle? -

Pure cocaine drops are better:

I want to be loved by the mothers! -

 Smoke Alarm, $344.95

No one’s going to take another look at a smoke detector if you want to go ahead and nab this one with the wirelesss CCTV camera hidden inside. You may, however, have some 'splaining to do if the fire department catches you telling your neighborhood Starbucks that due to new government regulations you have been authorized to put a smoke detector in every stall in the women’s bathroom.
DVR Alarm Clock, $416.66

People still use alarm clocks, right? Like, that’s still a normal thing? Chances are whoever you’re secretly taping in your bedroom won’t be noticing the Sony Dream Machine perched on your dresser. Surprise, it costs $420 and has a hidden camera in it that records directly to an SD card. Before I’m willing to drop this kind of money, I need to know: does the alarm clock actually work?
Video Recording Pen, $107.69

A video seer in a pen? What will science achieve next? As I am not a scientist, I cannot give you an answer. My best guess is that it is space-related. This pen is pretty good, though. If you don’t mind shaky video due to the fact that to be truly inspired you must compose your amateur romance novels on lilac-scented stationary with cursive longhand. To reiterate, it is a pen with a wireless camera inside.
Car Key Camcorder, $28.37

Hopefully you have a shitty old car that was made before power locks were invented, as two of these dongles on one pair of keys would look pretty stupid. One of the cheapest spy cams on our list appears to be a simple wireless car-unlocking dangler, but can secretly take pictures and video (with sound!). This is exciting for me, as one time I went to Jiffy Lube and one of the workers stole the bagel I just bought from Panera. What I wouldn’t do to catch the asiago thieving grease monkey on mini-tape.

Video Sunglasses, $49.99

Though I would not hesitate to disagree with Amazon’s claim that these video sunglasses have “stylish elegant design,” I can’t deny the awesome power of shades with a built-in camera. You can already stare at somebody for hours without them being the wiser if you are wearing sunglasses, and this takes things to the next logical step. According to today’s fashion, you can also wear them up in the club. Who knows what goes on there! Now you do, and you can re-watch it every day for hours.

USB Lighter Cam, $21.62

This lighter is secretly a video camera that records directly to a USB drive. If you are afraid of being perceived as a smoker or an otherwise undesirable character, there is nothing to fear: simply lay the lighter in direct sight, where friends can see the word “Health” clearly stamped on the lighter.

SecurityMan MirrorCam, $98.10

You don’t need to be a hospital to mount those big round mirrors on your walls. They’re actually quite helpful for seeing who’s coming around the corner. The McDonald’s in my neighborhood actually had these puppies, butI haven’t seen them at a McDonald’s since. And I have seen the inside of many McDonald’s. The mirrors were presumably erected after the Excitable Fatty Slip 'n Slide Ketchup Krash of 1987, a condiment counter disaster which resulted in several innocent Fry Kid casualties and twelve wasted McNuggets.

Flashlight Camera, $58.99

I can recommend this hidden cam on the basis of it being an actual working flashlight, but you’re going to have a hard time secretly filming someone if you’re shining 8 LEDs in their face to do it.

Watch Camera, $99.99

This chrome watch has 720p video recording capability, stored on the internal 4 gig memory. Though I appreciate the fact that it is on sale for 75% off, I suspect it is because the watch looks like it was welded by a sober, mustache-less Salvador Dali.
Mini Spy Button, $99.99

If I ever wore clothing that required buttons, I would be all up on the Mini Spy Button from Cuarta Dimension. Provided nobody would notice the lipstick-sized bulge kicking it behind that one button that doesn’t seem to match the others, you could get some decent footage of unsuspecting navels.
Stuffed Dog Nanny Cam, $130

If you have children, chances are they are being beaten when you aren’t home, or even when you are, but not paying attention. This is just the reality of life. Why not treat your little scamps with this happy pup-pup whose little black nose doubles as a camera lens? Unfortunately, most child-beaters probably research nanny cams and casually throw a diaper on them or something while they are biting your baby’s delicious, milky feet. Still, pup-pu